Each year about two million students go to college. Certainly attending college has real benefits: a typical college graduate earns from a half million to one million dollars more in their lives than students who don’t go to college. Despite the enormous expense of college, parents often see it as the most important investment they are going to make in their children’s lives. It is an enormous investment, but its success doesn’t depend on the prestige of the institution. A teen can be just as successful going to a state university as an Ivy League school.
As your child leaves for college this fall, there are some anxieties that you and your teen will go through. Even if it is a local school that your teen attends while living at home, it still represents a major, if not final, separation children make from their parents.
For parents who were actively involved in their teen’s life, this is a difficult time. The “empty nest syndrome” is a scary thought. As a parent, you will no longer play the role of primary caretaker or be the major figure in your child’s life. Parents who live through their children vicariously will have a more difficult transition. There is a fear of becoming unimportant in their child’s life. Many parents who have focused most of their lives on their children have avoided attending to other things such as their marriage, a career and their health. This is a great time for parent’s to reconnect with one another, pursue new (or return to) hobbies and activities, get into an exercise class, or return to work or make a career change.
Parents who worry that they will suddenly become unimportant in the lives of their new college student will soon find out that this is far from the case. This is not only because of the financial support most parents offer, but because of the help that this now “young adult” will need through any number of social, academic, and personal challenges that come along with teenagers transitioning to adulthood.
When your child leaves for college, encourage them to have reasonable expectations and to be prepared for new challenges. Many teens feel great anxiety when going off to college, even if they hide it. Many parents also fear the separation. For parents take this opportunity to enrich other areas of your life. It can be a very rewarding time. Remember, though, your child will still need you! As much as the everyday has changed you are transitioning into a whole new relationship with your child. Embrace it – the best may be yet to come!
DISCLAIMER
Information contained in this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice for individual conditions or treatment and does not substitute for a medical or psychiatric examination. A psychiatrist must make a determination about any treatment or prescription. Dr. Paul does not assume any responsibility or risk for the use of any information contained within this blog.
