“Most American parents are completely confused and going utterly in the wrong direction,” Dr. Leonard Sax
A new book out this month by family physician, psychologist, and author, Leonard Sax says that parents have this parenting thing all wrong! “The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt our Kids when We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups” looks at the major shift that has occurred over the past 30 years in American culture: the transfer of authority from parents to children.
Like Sax, I too, have been in practice for many years. I agree with Sax that we have become an obsessively child-focused society; the children today are running the show!
Sax talks about how parents ask their children to let the doctor look in their (the child’s) throat. The parent then offers to reward the child afterward if they “open up” and let the doctor look in their throat to see if they’re sick!
Another interesting parenting trend, check-out “Spoiled Rotten” in the July issue of Boston Magazine where parents are paying their kids for scoring goals and grades. The rationale behind the thinking of the parents is fascinating. It is also wrong!
Parents today give their children unwarranted praise, try to be their child’s best friend, and give them whatever they ask for. The ability for parents to see clearly when it comes to their children has gotten skewed. Families go into debt trying to give their kids things they shouldn’t. Does Johnny need the most expensive sneakers? Does Emily need an upgrade to her IPhone that is working perfectly fine? Should children receive a trophy just because they were on the team?
Children are used by parents to fill parental needs and thus have their self-realization derailed. Worst of all, this parental indulgence sends the message to kids that they are the center of everyone else’s universe. As a result, some kids grow up without a sense of limits and with a high degree of entitlement and a lack of compassion and with little empathy.
Parents need to assume the responsibility for the fact that today’s kids lack a sense of limits, humility and a decent respect for authority. Kids believe that the end justifies the means, and that process means nothing. Society models and exploits this behavior on television and Internet programs targeting children and teens. It is the parents and society that are allowing this to happen and they need to make changes. Kids didn’t get this way all on their own.
LINKS
The Collapse of Parenting
Spoiled Rotten
DISCLAIMER
Information contained in this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice for individual conditions or treatment and does not substitute for a medical or psychiatric examination. A psychiatrist must make a determination about any treatment or prescription. Dr. Paul does not assume any responsibility or risk for the use of any information contained within this blog.
on dealing with the mental health of college athletes, an issue that remains a top concern for the association’s chief medical officer, Brian Hainline.
Since 2014, three lawsuits have been filed against Connecticut private schools; two at Indian Mountain and one at the prestigious Hotchkiss School, both in Lakeville, CT. Last week one of the cases took a bizarre turn when a judge ordered a dig on the school grounds to look for buried pornography. The Hartford Courant is reporting that a “federal judge has agreed to allow attorneys suing the Indian Mountain School in Salisbury over alleged student sex abuse to dig for evidence of child pornography claimed to be buried on school grounds.”
A disturbing trend is facing the medical community as we kick-off 2016. A recent report by the MAYO Clinic says, “doctor’s work life balancing is worsening”. The new study says the percentage of physicians who say they are suffering burnout rose to 54% in 2014 from 45% in 2011.
According to Manchin, this report has been delayed due to pressure from outside groups and objections from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Manchin told the Beckley (WV) Register-Herald, “At a recent meeting, the FDA’s Director of the Division of Anesthesia, Analgesia and Addiction Products, Sharon Hertz, was one of the strongest voices against the guidelines,” Manchin wrote, adding, “While the President of the United States, the Department of Health and Human Services, and every other agency of the federal government has been actively working to save lives and stop this epidemic, the FDA is working against these efforts and further endangering the public.”
The over-prescribing of opioids is the main problem. Many of these drugs are given for longer than 30 days – the time it takes to become addicted. Also, these drugs are often prescribed to teenagers recovering from sports injuries. Painkillers are the beginning of the addiction that leads to heroin. Why? Because heroin is cheaper. According to the CDC, in 2013, 207 million prescriptions were written for prescription opioid pain medications. Those are a lot of prescriptions. With the misleading information presented early on to doctors, there has been a lot of confusion and second-guessing about the use of these drugs and the potential risks.