Dr. Henry Paul, MD

Psychiatrist, Author and Educator

Readers Talk Back

May 12th, 2012

For When Kids Are Mad Not Bad

From Publishers Weekly:

Anger is “natural, normal and appropriate” and is a problem “only when we can’t handle our… feelings constructively.” So says Paul, a psychiatrist with a family and child practice. Anger is a response, he points out, that is nearly always triggered by a sense of helplessness, the cause of which is usually apparent after observing an angry child, and if she or he is verbalizing and you are listening. While reassuring readers with such statements as, “You will never be completely free of causing anger in others because this is part of being human,” the author offers concrete yet compassionate suggestions for ameliorating the behavior of both participants in clashes between parent and child. Leavened by anecdotes from his clinical practice and scenarios of typical familial interchanges, this eminently practical guide should prove invaluable to parents and others who work with children.

From Amazon:
An insightful view of a child’s anger & how best to respond

This book completely changed the way I viewed my child’s anger. Now I can be more understanding of the real underlying issues involved and respond in a more constructive and confident manner. His anger is a plea for help and I am now his helper. Reading this book certainly improved our relationship.

Absolutely Fabulous 
An absolute must. This book is brief, to the point and sensible. It doesn’t waste your time with a whole lot of psycho babble, but helps you discover the causes of anger that lay beneath the behavior you see. Most important for parents is to be educated on HOW we handle anger so we can make the changes in our own behavior that will break the anger cycle. An absolute keeper.

For Is My Child Okay?

From Amazon:
Sound Counsel Without Psycho-babble
There is an acute public health crisis in this nation; a crisis precipitated by the burden of suffering experienced by children with mental health needs, and their families. Today’s students are challenged by an array of concern that directly impact their well-being. Child abuse, family dysfunction, economic dislocation, and the prevalence of violence, sex, and the objectification of woment in our popular culture all influence childrens’ lives each day. Children represent 100% of our future. Therefore fostering social and emotional health in children as a component of healthy child development must be a national priority.

Anyone who is a parent has asked him or herself at one time “is my child ok?” Dr. Paul has written a cogent, no-nonsese book that will equip parents to be better informed about the mental health issues of children.

As a parent of two children, and as a teacher of children with special needs, I have found this book to be extremely useful. Dr. Paul skillfully and gently guides the reader to help her discern when a child’s behavior is “just a stage she is going through,” and, therefore “developmentally appropriate,” as well as what to look for when dealing with maladaptive behaviors, and mental health issues.

This book is a must read for parents, teachers, school couselors, and anyone else who has a stake in the mental health of children. Children represent 100% of our future. We need to care for them as best as we can. Dr. Paul’s work can help do just that.

By JudyG
Because kids communicate more through behavior than words its so hard sometimes to judge if there is a serious problem or if your child is just struggling to communicate something to you. This book is a great aid in getting insight into your child and holding a parent back from pathologizing them. As the mother of two young boys, I really appreciate the compassionate attitude toward children– And the reassuring words to the often freaked- out mom. This would definately be one of my “desert island” parenting books.