Dr. Henry Paul, MD

Psychiatrist, Author and Educator

Tag Archives: Henry Paul

TERRORISM CREATS ANXIETY FOR US ALL

November 18th, 2015

44126016_sThe terrorist attacks on Friday night in Paris have raised the anxiety of people around the world. The news that a terrorist organization is targeting innocent civilians is unsettling. The television and the Internet are aflood with pictures of the attacks, stories from survivors and projections about the next target. As anxiety levels rise, parents must remember to set a good example. Anxiety is quite contagious and children model behaviors, they especially take their cues from their parents. Parents must act rationally and provide an atmosphere of protection and safety. Children, teens, and tweens, not to mention college students live in a world where school shootings have become the norm and terrorist groups like ISIS are daily news. After the Paris attacks,  young people are seeing on television, reading on the Internet and hearing at home and in school about terrorist attacks that could happen in their city near their home.

As a nation, we need to make sure that our young people are a priority as we deal with the threats from both international and domestic terrorists. The images seen on TV or online do make terrorist attacks and school shootings seem close by. It’s scary. The reality is that your chances of being in an attack are very, very small. But, that doesn’t seem to matter much when you see the pain, fear and anxiety constantly going on around you.

Here are some strategies for dealing with the fears and anxiety created by such attacks:

  • Limit the time you and your children watch the news. Is it necessary to have the news channel on all day?
  • Reassure and provide your kids the space to talk about their fears and anxiety. Kids should not be afraid to share their fears.
  • Get out and do your normal routine. Getting back into a daily routine is comforting. Sometimes the mundane things in daily life are a great distraction.
  • Visit with friends and try to avoid too much conversation about the attacks. If you need to talk about the attacks, try to make sure that your children are not in ear-shot. Talking may help parents deal with their anxiety but it can heighten anxiety in kids.
  • Join others in participating in candlelight vigils, religious ceremonies, memorial services, or other events.
  • Get support if you or your children need it. If your feelings make it impossible for you to function and do normal stuff, like go to school, it’s time to get help. Children can turn to a parent, teacher, religious leader, or guidance counselor. Adults should reach out to medical professionals, religious leaders, and online support groups.

Sadly, these attacks don’t look like they are going to stop any time soon, so let’s remember to keep our anger and hatred in check and promote peace.

How to Talk to Your Kids About the Attacks in Paris
Helping Children Cope after a Traumatic Event
Helping Children Cope with Frightening News
How to talk to your kids about the terror attacks in Paris

DISCLAIMER
Information contained in this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice for individual conditions or treatment and does not substitute for a medical or psychiatric examination. A psychiatrist must make a determination about any treatment or prescription. Dr. Paul does not assume any responsibility or risk for the use of any information contained within this blog.

A CHECKLIST TO FOR PARENTS TO HELP THEIR TEENS GRIEVE

December 16th, 2014

Teenager’s experiences and expressions of grief vary greatly. Some teenagers

will experience shock and denial, even disbelieving that the death has occurred. Others might show very few signs of grieving. Keep the following points in mind as you help your teen deal with grief:

  • Respect the form and time that your teen takes to grieve.
  • Assist your teen in expressing thoughts openly, on the teen’s terms, not yours. Encourage your teen to share feelings, even if they are scary, unusual, and frightening.
  • Help your teen by gathering articles, old pictures, and old stories about the dead person. Some people even suggest making a collage as a way of helping the healing process.
  • Be as present and available as you can to your teen. Many teenagers feel neglected when people, especially parents, and close family members aren’t physically and emotionally there for them. (The neglect sometimes happens because the teen’s grief may make others feel anxiety about death and thus may give in to the desire to avoid the teenager).
  • Look for signs of hyper-sexuality, drug abuse, risky behavior, depression, and suicidal thoughts or plans which are pathological expressions of grief.
  • Involvement in a grief support group can be very important for a teenager and surviving relatives. Support can be in groups devoted to dealing with grieving – groups that may involve only peers or the whole family. The sense of belonging to a group provides a safe place to talk about feelings and lessens the sense of isolation and sadness that are normal parts of the grieving process.
  • Listen to your teen. Be supportive and don’t immediately try to fix it. Work together through your grief.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help from other family members, mental health professionals or friends. Be sure to contact a mental health professional if you feel there is a deep depression or suicidal thoughts or plans.
  • Lastly, be sure that your attitudes about death are as healthy as possible to set a good example for your teenager. As always, we affect teens more by what we do and how we act than by what we say.

DISCLAIMER
Information contained in this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice for individual conditions or treatment and does not substitute for a medical or psychiatric examination. A psychiatrist must make a determination about any treatment or prescription. Dr. Paul does not assume any responsibility or risk for the use of any information contained within this blog.

UNDERSTANDING TEEN GRIEF

December 15th, 2014

So, in my last blog I touched on bereavement counseling in general. Now I want to talk about bereavement specifically with teenagers.

Adolescent grief or bereavement is normal and natural. Grief is not an illness; it is a normal reaction to loss. Teenagers need to ask questions. Give them prompt and correct information. Allow them to express every concern and to participate in all rituals having to do with the death and the grieving process. Allow them to be comforted by those who are still alive.

Do not keep your teenager from going to funerals; encourage and support them to do so. Unlike very young children, teenagers can be given details about how a loved one died. Grieving involves many complicated feelings, such as anger, guilt, shame, conflict, and even rage. Teenagers may sometimes feel that they want to join the dead loved one. Sometimes they may even feel that they see or hear the image or voice of the dead person (read my “Dreams of the Departed” blog from November). You should encourage discussion about this. Of course, if the wish to be with the loved one is accompanied by actual suicidal plans or behaviors, or the wish to be dead, you need to seek immediate professional help.

Emphasizing the positive relationship that your teen had with the dead person – going through old pictures, telling old stories, and answering all questions about the deceased – will go a long way.

Parental honesty, availability and support are the key to helping the teenager work through grief. Harm is done not from honest confrontation and discussion of death but rather from misguidedly trying to protect the teenager through avoidance, hypocrisy, duplicity, and misinformation. Not only should family members be honest and open, but they should tend to their grief, as well. Shared grief ultimately becomes less of a burden to all.

Whatever the means of achieving it – the real goal is to keep communication open at all times!

DISCLAIMER
Information contained in this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice for individual conditions or treatment and does not substitute for a medical or psychiatric examination. A psychiatrist must make a determination about any treatment or prescription. Dr. Paul does not assume any responsibility or risk for the use of any information contained within this blog.

 

OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANT DISORDER AND CONDUCT DISORDER

April 30th, 2014

In the group of disorders called behavior disorders, in addition to Attention Deficit (Hyperactivity) Disorder there are two other conditions: Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Conduct Disorder (CD).

Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is a characterized by:

  1. Negativism
  2. Rebellion
  3. Arguing
  4. Defiance
  5. Anger episodes
  6. Revenge
  7. Resentment
  8. Spite
  9. Annoying others
  10. Blaming others
  11. Irritability
  12. An overall passive aggressive stance (I will show my anger by not doing….”)

Conduct Disorder (CD), an even more serious behavior disorder, often related to the development of Antisocial Personality Disorder in adulthood, is characterized by:

  1. Persistent breaking of rules
  2. Aggression toward other people/animals
  3. Fighting, bullying, cruelty, intimidation
  4. Destruction of property
  5. Fire setting
  6. Lying
  7. Stealing
  8. Other law/rule breaking
  9. Running away
  10. Truancy
  11. Breaking curfew

Both of these serious behavior disorders are difficult to treat, necessitating a multimodal approach and sometimes the use of medication: stimulants in ODD and sometimes antipsychotics in CD.

DISCLAIMER

Information contained in this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice for individual conditions or treatment and does not substitute for a medical or psychiatric examination. A psychiatrist must make a determination about any treatment or prescription. Dr. Paul does not assume any responsibility or risk for the use of any information contained within this blog.

ANOTHER YOUNGSTER – ANOTHER CHILLING MURDER

November 25th, 2013

The chilling details about the brutal rape and murder of young high school teacher Colleen Ritzer, at the hands of one of her students 14 year-old Philip Chisholm, are now emerging.  Now, comes the questions as to how a seemingly “nice” kid could commit such a heinous crime.  According to CNN, “Philip Chism, the Massachusetts teenager accused of raping and killing his algebra teacher, became visibly upset when the teacher, Colleen Ritzer, spoke about the teen’s home state of Tennessee after class, according to a police affidavit unsealed Friday.”

Why would a student react this way and what were the missed warning signs?

Here, we are left to wonder again about a brutal homicide that occurred seemingly out of the blue. An outstanding athlete kills and rapes his teacher. He leaves a hate note at the body. He was seen talking to himself that day while in the presence of the victim after she talked about his home state of Tennessee from which he had just moved from a short time ago. We know little else. We have no knowledge of his prior state of mental health. We do not know if he used drugs or was intoxicated that day. We know nothing about his prior relationship with this teacher. We know he came from a divorced family but little else except some reports that his father might have had some problems leading to restricted visitation. But we do know that he came to school prepared to commit this crime. It appears to be premeditated. Thus, there were some factors leading to this violence. He did not just snap in a moment of fury. There were reasons in this youngster. He was already boiling that day. Sometimes our intuition is a help. I intuit that there was a combination of attraction towards the victim, feelings of rejection by, and anger at the victim. It is not so uncommon for young men to “fall in love” with their teachers. Sometimes an almost delusional preoccupation can occur in a fragile youngster leading to profound rejection when reality intrudes. Combine this with a feeling of alienation from his community, possible psychotic or drug induced dyscontrol and we have a perfect storm. But this is intuition. The facts will emerge, and then we will know more.

DISCLAIMER
Information contained in this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice for individual conditions or treatment and does not substitute for a medical or psychiatric examination. A psychiatrist must make a determination about any treatment or prescription. Dr. Paul does not assume any responsibility or risk for the use of any information contained within this blog.