Dr. Henry Paul, MD

Psychiatrist, Author and Educator

HOW MUCH DO YOU KNOW ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

October 28th, 2015

Domestic violence impacts women, men, and children of every age, background, and belief. Nearly 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men in the United States have suffered severe physical violence by an intimate partner. Presidential Proclamation 2015

46184702_sOn September 30th of this year, President Barack Obama proclaimed October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month. For many decades, domestic violence was not recognized as a serious offense. Victims found very little support to help them escape their abusive relationship and rebuild their life.

I read stories all the time about abuse and see them every day in the news.
Back in 2014, I wrote about the cases of both NFL football players Adrian Peterson and Ray Rice. Both men were thrust into the national spotlight after being accused of violence against their loved ones; Rice’s then girlfriend and now wife and Peterson’s son.

This began a national dialogue that played out for many months as the NFL sought to punish their own and to make an effort to support DV awareness. Make no mistake, both domestic violence and child abuse are unacceptable, and the focus should be on helping the victim first and foremost. Their safety and well-being as a victim of domestic violence or child abuse is of the utmost importance. But I want to add that we need to look at how we can help the abuser. If there is no abuser, there is no DV.

Domestic violence happens in all types of situations including dating violence, sexual assault and abuse, stalking, domestic and intimate partner violence, and same-sex relationship violence. It also includes violence against parents, children, and siblings.

DV includes physical, sexual, psychological attacks, and often economic control. Having no options to leave many victims stay in hopes that things will change. Sadly, they often don’t!

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) first designated by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence in October 1981. It evolved from the “Day of Unity” held to connect advocates across the nation who were working to end violence against women and their children. The common themes that unite all the efforts of DVAM include:

  • Mourning those who have died because of domestic violence
  • Celebrating those who have survived
  • Connecting those who work to end violence

According to the U.S. Department of Justice Nonfatal Domestic Violence, domestic violence (DV) accounted for 21% of all violent victimization from 2003 to 2012 and the majority of reported DV incidents were committed against females – 76% compared to 24% for men.

As we close in on the final days of October, I hope you will think about how you might be able to help in your community. There are shelters that need clothing donations for adults and children. Many times victims flee with no belongings. Many shelters need volunteers to help man their hotline. They need help with fundraisers, mailings and community outreach.

President Obama said it best in his proclamation. “I call on all Americans to speak out against domestic violence and support local efforts to assist victims of these crimes in finding the help and healing they need.”

Let’s make sure to keep these efforts at the forefront long after you blow out that last Halloween pumpkin this weekend!

Links:

We Need to Help the Abusers. Too!
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Womenshealth.gov – Resources by State on Violence Against Women

DISCLAIMER
Information contained in this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice for individual conditions or treatment and does not substitute for a medical or psychiatric examination. A psychiatrist must make a determination about any treatment or prescription. Dr. Paul does not assume any responsibility or risk for the use of any information contained within this blog.

WHEN IS IT SERIOUS?

November 12th, 2013

In my last blog I described quite serious calls I receive on a regular basis. But for the most part the calls I receive are from parents who are worried and really not sure if their child has a serious problem. I can categorically say that most calls are about children who do not have a serious problem. But are there some guidelines that we can use to know when it is serious?

We have to remember that a parent remains the best diagnostician of her child. No one knows the temperament, behavior patterns and moods of their child better than a concerned parent. So when a child has a change in thinking, mood or behavior most parents should assume that it is probably one of those ever present times when a developing child is changing and showing the enormously wide variations in the normal cycle of growing up. So an upsurge of anxiety, a sad mood, or a disruptive bout of behavior is no cause for great concern. It will probably pass as development proceeds and will soon be forgotten.

But there is cause for concern in the following circumstances:

  1. The change does not return to usual after a few weeks and especially after you have tried to help.
  2. If you have tried to understand the cause for the change and have failed to get a handle on it.
  3. The change is getting worse despite concerned parental intervention.
  4. The child seems to be suffering in his everyday ability to feel good and function in and out of the home.

In the above circumstances a consultation with a mental health professional might go a long way in helping you understand, intervene and possibly get you and your child professional help.

But there are certain circumstances that demand immediate professional intervention:

  1. Suicidal behavior including talk, threats, gestures, notes, plans, diary or internet postings or attempts.
  2. Violent behavior or threats including verbal threats and of course the involvement of weapons in any way.
  3. Bizarre or psychotic behavior including hearing voices, strange thoughts, suspicious paranoid behaviors or other out of control actions.
  4. Substance intoxication especially with any out of control activities.

In summary most children act in new and sometimes anxiety-provoking ways but these are usually normal events involved in growing up. But when the problem hangs on, does not respond to your curious exploration and support and especially if it is getting worse and affecting her life more and more then it would be wise to get help. It still might not be too serious but a bit of education and guidance can go a long way.

 

DISCLAIMER
Information contained in this blog is intended for educational purposes only.  It is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice for individual conditions or treatment and does not substitute for a medical or psychiatric examination.  A psychiatrist must make a determination about any treatment or prescription.   Dr. Paul does not assume any responsibility or risk for the use of any information contained within this blog.

 

 

THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY CHILD

November 7th, 2013

These are three phone calls that I received in one week:

(Steven)
“The school principal just called and said our son Steven, a fourth grader, was overheard talking with some friends about bringing a knife to school. He has a history of misbehavior, but recently he has gotten worse. He has been fighting a lot, not following rules, talking back, leaving the classroom without permission, and now this. I’m freaking out. When can we see you?”

(Jessica)
“Our fourteen-year-old daughter, Jessica, has been sad since her grandma died six months ago. She’s been withdrawn, sleeping a lot, and hardly eats. At first we sympathized with her and gave her space. But this morning I looked in her diary and read a note in which she talked about yearning to be dead and join her grandma in heaven. I think this is much worse than just grieving. What should we do?”

(Marty)
“Marty, our eleven-year-old son, has always been shy. Ever since we can remember, he was scared to do anything new. We would have to accompany him everywhere — school, camp, after school activities, and the like. He could never go on a play date without great fear. He never made close friends. But now he is beginning to act really strange. He talks to himself, he is over-involved on strange websites, he smiles about things we can’t understand, and yesterday said something about being connected to other people through mind reading. I read something about psychosis on the Internet and he seems to fit the bill. I’m terrified something really serious is wrong with him.”

I get calls like these almost every day.  Realizing that your child may have a problem is really scary. It can be devastating to learn that your child is physically sick, but discovering that your child suffers from a mental disorder adds another layer of confusion and anxiety. Mental disorders are not as well understood as physical disorders, and it is only recently that they have begun to be talked about openly. Add the fact that new diagnoses come up seemingly weekly, along with all the misinformation in the media about the medications used to treat mental disorders, and you have some very confused and worried parents. Through my blog I want to address your questions, fears, and worries about treating your child.  I want you to ask me questions and I want to hear your concerns.

DISCLAIMER
Information contained in this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice for individual conditions or treatment and does not substitute for a medical or psychiatric examination. A psychiatrist must make a determination about any treatment or prescription. Dr. Paul does not assume any responsibility or risk for the use of any information contained within this blog.

MY CHILD IS BEING BULLIED!

November 1st, 2013

In the last blog we discussed what to do if you think your child is a bully.  Now, let’s discuss what to do if you think your child is being bullied.

  1. First, help him or her to talk about it – establish an atmosphere conducive to talking about the feelings of shame and humiliation he/she may feel. Don’t leap in with suggestions or quick judgments; such attempts to help are often experienced by the child as a kind of psychic bullying. Encourage your child to speak directly with the authority figure responsible for harmony and safety (teacher, principal, swimming pool director, etc.) to give your child an active, assertive role in resolving the problem.
  2. For many parents, the first thing to do seems to be to call the parents of the other child, but rushing into fix it for your child (i.e. contacting the bullying child’s parents and demanding an apology) may ultimately worsen the situation; at the very least, you and your child should work together to deal with the bully. 
  3. If your child is being bullied you also should notify the organization or place where the bullying is taking place, such as the school, camp, or venue for an after-school activity.
  4. Your child will need some experience of “fighting back” so that he or she does not simply feel further victimized. It helps to have your child understand the psychology of the bully, that he or she is “egged” on by overly passive or insecure behaviors and that some amount of confident and even humorous self-assertion can often help your child to get through the next ominous encounter.
  5. Never encourage your child to fight physically because it can just escalate the violence (possibly with significant danger to your child) and reinforce fighting as a solution.
  6. If your child cannot overcome his or her fear and anxiety about a bully, it is wise to seek outside help, especially if fear, anxiety, and depression are interfering with day-to-day life.
  7. Support your child’s friendships and social network throughout the ordeal of dealing with a bully; this is the time when your child most needs to feel he or she is not ostracized because of being the bully’s victim.

The key issue in bullying is that intimidation occurs repeatedly and becomes a form of harassment and abuse of other children. It is important for parents to become active in their community in order to avoid bullying issues. For instance: there are effective intervention programs across the country that parents should get involved with in their children’s schools. Schools should be encouraged to create and enforce anti-bullying policies and to have class discussions about bullies. Conflict resolution classes can also be very helpful.

DISCLAIMER
Information contained in this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice for individual conditions or treatment and does not substitute for a medical or psychiatric examination. A psychiatrist must make a determination about any treatment or prescription. Dr. Paul does not assume any responsibility or risk for the use of any information contained within this blog.

ANTIDEPRESSANTS AND THE NEW YORK TIMES

August 28th, 2013

A recent article in the New York Times stated that there was an excessive prescribing of antidepressants in the United States and that the reason was probably that there was an over-diagnosis of depression in the first place. Putting aside the many different trends which might lead to excessive prescribing of psychotropic drugs in general I think what the article misses is that the approval of antidepressants by the FDA was for Major Depression, while in most practices patients present with depression problems which might not exactly fit the criteria for a Major Depression but fit what might be called “Minor Depression” or what is referred to by the clinical term Dysthymic Disorder. It has been my experience that the majority of depressed people I see have a minor depression and not the more severe and dramatic form of Major Depression. It has also been my experience that these people respond to antidepressants but the response might seem less dramatic because the original clinical condition was less severe. These patients have depression which might be a bit less severe and not as long lasting but still suffer greatly. Their condition not only affects their mood but the ability to work, love, parent and to enjoy life. Untreated it can also lead to drug and alcohol abuse. While the drug companies could probably only afford the approval of medications for Major Depression or were only willing to spend the amount needed, it does not follow that people are being given meds when not even depressed. If anything it appears to me that there is an under-diagnosis of depressive disorders. But worst of all the recent trend to use medication in the absence of talk therapy-still the golden standard of treatment-seems to go on unabated.

DISCLAIMER
Information contained in this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice for individual conditions or treatment and does not substitute for a medical or psychiatric examination. A psychiatrist must make a determination about any treatment or prescription. Dr. Paul does not assume any responsibility or risk for the use of any information contained within this blog.