Dr. Henry Paul, MD

Psychiatrist, Author and Educator

MY CHILD IS GAY! WHAT SHOULD I DO?

January 15th, 2015

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Most parents love their children! That love is what will help parents to survive the initial shock of hearing that their son or daughter is gay. After a period of disbelief or denial, most parents can be counted on to be supportive. Here are some guidelines for parents to deal with their child’s homosexuality.

  • If your teen is gay or lesbian you should provide emotional support, despite the fact that you may have trouble accepting it.
  • Counseling and/or psychotherapy are suggested for teenagers who are uncomfortable with or uncertain about their sexual orientation. Therapy can help with adjusting to society in general. Make no mistake, sending a child for conversion therapy to change their sexual orientation has not been shown to work.
  • There are many local and national gay support groups (see list below) that can help a homosexual teenager to overcome some of the stigmatization and negative feedback that he or she gets.
  • It is extremely important that ALL teenagers understand the information about the risk for sexually transmitted diseases. Homosexual transmission of HIV is common and knowing the importance of condoms and other protection against such transmissions is essential.
  • A very large percentage, up to 95 percent, of LGBT teenagers report that they are often called names or threatened. As a result, they often skip school because they feel unsafe. LGBT teenagers are three-times more likely to be assaulted than their heterosexual peers. In addition, they are threatened and injured more by weapons. Additionally, lesbian and bisexual teenagers are more likely than heterosexual girls to be victims of rape or attempted rape.
  • Take care of yourself, too. Parents should make sure that they seek support, as well. Groups like PFLAG are available to answer questions and offer help. The most important thing for parents is to gain knowledge, be understanding, and most importantly be supportive.

In my next blog, I will discuss the STDs and Safe Sex for teenagers.

DISCLAIMER

Information contained in this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice for individual conditions or treatment and does not substitute for a medical or psychiatric examination. A psychiatrist must make a determination about any treatment or prescription. Dr. Paul does not assume any responsibility or risk for the use of any information contained within this blog.

HOMOSEXUAL TEENS “COMING OUT”

January 14th, 2015

15043553_sIn our culture, homosexual youths have to deal with a number of mental health issues. Ongoing discrimination fuels anxiety, depression and other stress-related mental health problems among LGBT people. In our culture homosexual youths have a higher suicide/mortality rate than heterosexuals.  It is estimated that 30 percent of all youth suicides are gay youths.

Many gay youths feel guilty about their sexuality and painfully different from their peers; they worry about the response from their families, are often teased and bullied, worry about HIV infection and other STDs, feel discrimination when joining various clubs and other activities, and often are rejected and harassed by other teenagers.  This leads to isolation and withdrawal, low self-esteem, depression, and sometimes trouble concentrating.  An added distress for gay youths is telling their parents and the fear of rejection.  (See my next blog about support for parents).

Often when teenagers become aware of homosexual stirrings they feel great confusion and attempt to deny and repress them.  This leads to anxiety, sometimes causing a teen to “run” for treatment to get the problem fixed.  They sometimes even make religious commitments to overcome the homosexual feelings thought to be bad or sinful.

“Coming out” is a popular term used when someone chooses to make their sexual preference known.  In most cases, teenagers will “come out” when asked about their sexual preference.  Over time, increased socialization with other gays tends to solidify the sexual identity of a homosexual teenager.  This decreases the sense of loneliness and isolation.  Some pride in being gay begins to develop.  Eventually, positive relationships with other gays and lesbians result in positive self-identification and ultimate integration and acceptance. This encourages teens to be open about their sexual orientations without defensiveness.  Increased awareness of homosexuality, and gay teens’ own growing self-acceptance and self-expression, hopefully will continue to reduce social prejudice against being gay.

Talking about your sexual preference or “coming out” is an uncomfortable issue for anyone.  For homosexuals it is also controversial. Just look at the gay athletes who in the past couple of years have come out in the NFL and NBA. How has it changed their lives; particularly their careers?  Homosexual teenagers see this and try to relate it to their own lives.  Who should they tell – friends, parents, siblings their doctor or coach?  The bottom line is that homosexual teenagers have to decide when and whom they are going to tell and how they are going to tell them based on their particular and unique families, friendships, and social adaptation.

It is not easy for teenagers to express their feelings, but in 2011, 183 teenagers provided their feelings to The New York Times “Coming Out” project.   Click on the link to read their stories.  You will come away with a much better understanding of what teenagers face and how they feel about “coming out” as homosexual   Here is also a link to the May 2011 NY Times article that outlines the project; “‘Coming Out’ – Gay teenagers in their own words” by Sarah Kramer.

DISCLAIMER
Information contained in this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice for individual conditions or treatment and does not substitute for a medical or psychiatric examination. A psychiatrist must make a determination about any treatment or prescription. Dr. Paul does not assume any responsibility or risk for the use of any information contained within this blog.