Dr. Henry Paul, MD

Psychiatrist, Author and Educator

PARENTS NEED TO KNOW!

June 6th, 2014

Between “Slender Man” and shootings, yes another one today on a campus in Seattle, the news this week has made a lot of parents wonder about what their children, teens and young adults are watching, listening to, and engaging in online. It is important to understand what is influencing your child. Here are some things you need to do:

  • Parents should find out what media engage their teenagers. This mean knowing how often your teenager watches television, listens to radio, and surfs the Internet, as well as knowing what music and music videos he/she listens to and watches. This task of educating yourself about your teen’s media exposure is extremely important. It may involve watching television shows you know your teen habitually watches (with or without your teen); and listening to music, radio shows, and so on that that personally you may not find palatable but your teen does. You can’t understand the impact of media if you don’t know what in it attracts and absorbs your teen.
  • Set rules in your home about the media. Reasonable limits should be set and adhered to.
  • Encourage your teen to get involved in athletics, the arts, or other activities. Teenagers should not be allowed to become passive recipients of an overload of media.
  • Talk with your teen about what he/she is watching and listening to. Try to get a sense of why it absorbs him/her. This is especially important in the areas of sex and violence. Let your teen know that these are important issues and that they shouldn’t be dealt with superficially.
  • Parents should find out what is constructive in media and encourage teens to take part in it. There are many programs, talk shows, and even musical experiences that can be quite thrilling, uplifting, fun, and educational. Much worthwhile culture can be gleaned and enjoyed through the media.
  • Stay around your teen when he/she watches TV or videos or surfs the Internet. The simple presence of a parent is often enough to remind the teen of limits you have agreed to about what and how much media to consume.
  • Help the school system your teenager attends develop educational programs about exposure to media.
  • Become as familiar as possible with cultural and sub-cultural trends to which the media exposes your teen. This is not meant to imply that you should pretend to be as “cool” as your teen, but simply be knowledgeable about what’s going on. Again, you can’t help your teen deal with media influence if you don’t know what the influence is.

DISCLAIMER
Information contained in this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice for individual conditions or treatment and does not substitute for a medical or psychiatric examination. A psychiatrist must make a determination about any treatment or prescription. Dr. Paul does not assume any responsibility or risk for the use of any information contained within this blog.

PREDICTING THE NEXT SHOOTER

June 4th, 2014

The debate about gun control will undoubtedly be fueled by this latest shooting in California. But the dialogue that needs to happen is about recognizing the problem. The question we need to ask is “What do you do when you think someone is dangerous to others?”

For the parents of Elliott Rodger, and a psychiatrist who treated Denver shooter James Holmes, they did recognize something was wrong. In the case of Rodgers the parents tried to contact law enforcement, who, when they checked on Rodger, found him to be okay. The parents knew that not to be the case, so now we have to ask “What more could they have been done?”

The simple fact is that all of us have blind spots because some truths are too much to bear. This is especially true when we feel that a person is getting out of control. Rage, anger, violence and abuse are very frightening things to experience for all of us, and, as a result, we shy away from confrontation. We get scared and hope it passes. We try to rationalize away irrational rage. When we are frightened our judgment gets clouded and decisions we make are often made to allay our own discomfort.

Reporting about a family member or friend also brings all sorts of anxiety. First, we might fear becoming a target of the destructive rage if we confront the person or suggest intervention. Second, we don’t want to make the whole thing worse. We might picture a physical altercation where we become the victim. Thus, the whole subject evokes a good deal of anxiety.

As a psychiatrist, I have even seen this anxiety in professionals who work in the field, too. Unconsciously, professionals can also become scared dealing with a patient who talks about mass shootings and murder. In these cases, the therapist might unconsciously change the subject to suicide rather than talking about killing others. In these instances, because of the anxiety created around the discussion the therapist may give shallow advice such as suggesting increased exercise to calm someone down. Sadly, I have even seen angry patients dismissed from care because of therapist anxiety. The dismissal is usually rationalized in some way. At the very least, I have seen people with overt red flags who are not probed enough or who are sent on their way because the professional is reluctant to become more deeply involved in discussing the details of their fantasies for fear of going to an uncomfortable place. This is why continued clinical practice and training and peer support remain such necessary tools. There are also professional violence screening tools which help in the consultation room.

Professionals and lay people alike should always ask for help when confronted with such anxiety-inducing situations. We are all human and prone to anxiety. There is no shame in being anxious. Reaching out can sometimes save a life. We will never be able to predict and prevent all violence, but there is a room for improvement.

DISCLAIMER
Information contained in this blog is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical or psychiatric advice for individual conditions or treatment and does not substitute for a medical or psychiatric examination. A psychiatrist must make a determination about any treatment or prescription. Dr. Paul does not assume any responsibility or risk for the use of any information contained within this blog.